Showing posts from 2017

The Real Duckface

For this post I will not be posting an original short story.  I will instead post a poem I heard on the television show Frasier starring Kelsey Grammer.  Frasier recited this poem to himself right before his first show on the radio as a way to prevent stuttering and calm his nerves.  It very much caught my attention and I liked it so much I thought I'd share it with you.   The poem is called "A Word To The Wise" by Louise M Laughton Little owlet in the glen I'm ashamed of you; You are ungrammatical In speaking as you do, You should say, "To whom! To whom!" Not, "To who! To who!" Your small friend, Miss Katy-did, May be green, 't is true, But you never hear her say "Kay do! She do!" Wasn't That Great!  I Thought So! If You Would Like To Purchase This Image Or Any Of My Other Works You May Do So From My RedBubble Shop Page!  Thanks For Your Support!

Busy Shapes In Space

They talk about the dimensions of string theory and theoretical physics, and it's all great for all those 3 dimensional creatures who don't actually have to live in the higher dimensions.  As a higher dimensional being, let me tell you, it is no walk in the park.  It gets crazy busy up here.  It's like the worst traffic you've ever seen, probably comparable to that which you might see in India or New York City, but not just on one plane in a grid pattern.  This is traffic that doesn't stop at red lights, and travels in an infinite number of planes.  Damn it's hard to get around. Also, it's very bright.  Some idiots stare at Earth's sun and think that is bright.  Sure it's bright enough to blind you permanently, to burn your retinas, but you've not been to any dimensions higher than your own.  It's like easily 20 times brighter than that and it comes from everywhere, not just one fixed source, so you can't even turn away from it.

Neon Ghost Hand

It was a dark and stormy night, of course.  The hunchbacked assistant with the disgusting, bulgy left eye closed the refrigerator door.  He laid out all of his supplies on the shiny stainless steel counter in the middle of the laboratory.  A tray of thinly sliced turkey sandwich meat, baby swiss cheese wrapped in butcher's paper, artisan 8 grain whole wheat pre-sliced bread , and a large jar of extra eggy mayonnaise.  He worked very slowly, very carefully, assembling the perfect sandwich.  It was more than just delicious, it was a work of visual art! When the sandwich was complete, he took his 12 inch, razor sharp, culinary knife and sliced the sandwich diagonally.  It was now ready to present to his boss.  He limped his way over to the work bench where the one he assisted was busy mixing various chemicals into different beakers using eye droppers.   "All ready for you, sir!" "You call this a sandwich!  Disgusting!  When will you learn!" The

All Dressed Up

Big date tonight. Super fine lady. Gotta look good. Put on cologne. Throw on suit. Slick hair back. Take a selfie. All Dressed Up! Shine the shoes. Check the mirror. Try my smile. I look good. Straighten my tie. Smell my breath. It smells great. Find the time. Right on time. Grab my keys. Open the door. Close the door. All Dressed Up! Walk to car. Get in car. Turn the key. Start the engine. Shift to reverse. Rev it up. Drive the streets. Find her house. Honk the horn. Walk to door. Ring doorbell twice. She opens door. She looks beautiful. All Dressed Up! Hug her body. Kiss her lips. Two person selfie. All Dressed Up! If You Would Like To Purchase This Or Any Of My Other Works Then Check Out My REDBUBBLE Page . Thanks For Checking Out My Art! If You Liked It Please Share It With Your Friends. You Can Find Me On Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Lair Of The Graboid

Burt (The guy with all the guns), Kevin Bacon, and that one lady were all trapped in the little nothing desert town because the only road in or out of the town was closed due to a rock avalanche.  I think the lady was some sort of earthquake scientist and she thought the rocks fell because of some earthquake.  She was very wrong.  There was some annoying punk kid who bothered the general store owner.  He was playing basketball too close to the store or something. Anyways, Kevin Bacon, his boss, and that seismologist lady were out in the desert studying the shaking ground and they almost got eaten by a giant desert worm that had little snake tongues.  They were kind of excited because they just discovered a new species, but they were also terrified because they almost died.  They named the giant worms "Graboids".  Turns out the avalanche was caused by the Graboids.  They ran to and jumped on to some giant rocks.  They were safe from the Graboid as long as they were on


The sweat ran down his forehead, his nose, and into his mustache.  The perspiration collected in the thick, black hair of his bushy upper lip until droplets formed and fell to his bright green button-up long sleeved dress shirt. The wet spots were very noticeable on such a shirt.  He was obviously becoming self-conscious about his moist appearance, but he couldn't help himself. He was so very nervous, flying had always made him feel that way.   He tried to distract himself with the complimentary airline magazine provided to him in the pocket on the back of the seat in front of him.  He flipped through to some random page in the middle of the magazine where there was an article about a luxury furniture manufacturer in Colorado.  The bottom half of the page was a photograph of a pair of furniture craftsman in the production shop stretching fabric over the back of the chair.  One of the pair was holding the purple material taut, and the other was hammering in furniture t